wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
