I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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