do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
