Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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