How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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