My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
