He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
