Welp...herpes.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
