you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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