Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
our cab driver is having phone sex.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
