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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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