For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I checked into jail on foursquare
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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