my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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