his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
