Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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