dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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