Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
