Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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