i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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