The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
