i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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