You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
