this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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