My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
