he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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