i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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