the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Randomize
