3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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