Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
My hand turned me down
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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