don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
