Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
My penis needs a shock collar
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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