just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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