if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
