And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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