tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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