There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
