I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
