I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
