do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
