I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
They are going to name an STD after you.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
