census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
