His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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