So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
