at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
