I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
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