Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
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