we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You brought string cheese to the strip club
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
