i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
