It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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