I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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