i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
