wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
