i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
