good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
