Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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