Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
