the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
