so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Randomize
