So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
