It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Of course I have a pirate flag
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
