So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize