drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize